


I wasn't jealous before we met

by Adeline_Hatter



Series: How the Master ended up travelling with the Doctor [2]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Canon Divergent, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Ferret!Theta and Goose!Koschei, Fluff and Crack, Multi, Petty Jealousy, TARDIS Shenanigans, The Doctor and Master share One Brain Cell and it is absent, The Thoschei Rights server made me do it, Thievery, i don't know what this is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:28:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24160582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adeline_Hatter/pseuds/Adeline_Hatter
Summary: There are some new additions to the TARDIS.
Relationships: The Doctor/The Master (Doctor Who), Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan)
Series: How the Master ended up travelling with the Doctor [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1735342
Comments: 11
Kudos: 53





	I wasn't jealous before we met

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!! This takes place in the same universe as my other fic A Healing Death, because I couldn't be bothered to come up with a different way the Master ends up travelling with the Doctor, but this also works as a stand-a-lone fic too. 
> 
> This is first and foremost a birthday present for Fluffyfics here on Ao3 
> 
> And secondly a fic for the Thoschei Rights server.
> 
> ENJOY

It all started with the Doctor wanting to go and feed ducks in Hyde Park. 

He didn't particularly ask why she wanted to do this, only that it was slightly annoying that she did, especially when one duck came straight up to him and took a bite out of his hand. 

"Stop whining!" The Doctor took his hand and looked it over, "It's not like there's an actual chunk missing or anything." 

The Master glared at her, "I'm bleeding, Doctor." Looking between her and his hand, looking over her shoulder towards her humans who were peering at the two of them with mild interest, still a little untrusting towards him but that was natural, “Bleeding, that duck is a fiend.”

“He is not, he’s adorable! I think I’m gonna keep him.” She grinned at him and he wasn’t entirely sure if she was serious or not, “Think I’ll call ‘im… Jack.” 

Whilst the Doctor lets his hand go, easily distracted by the duck she bends to pick up in her arms, despite the fact that the duck is wet and her coast stains easily, the Master looks past the fam who all look at the Doctor like it’s normal- Which it is for her he supposes -and nothing to worry about. 

On a bench nearby, two men sit watching the lot of them, a blonde who excitedly seems to chatter on with an ice cream in hand, next to a redhead with one arm slung behind the blonde, sunglasses perched on his nose but watching them all. 

He tunes back into what the Doctor is saying but keeps an eye on the two men either way, they definitely weren’t human. 

"Oh, but he'll get lonely on the TARDIS if he's all by himself..." The Master watched as the blonde absolutely beamed at the redhead next to him, as the latter snapped his fingers with what appeared to be a deep sigh and the Doctor squealed enough that his attention was pulled back to her, "Three more ducks!!! One for each of my fam!!"

Sure enough, three more ducks had waded up and judging purely by the look on the Doctor’s face, the Master knew they were coming home with them. 

“Please, you already have your humans, don’t bring _actual_ animals home.” He muttered to her, watching her hold the Jack Duck in her arms, then bend down again to try and pick up the others, slowly he turned to the Fam, “Well, _Team_ who’s going to help me stop her?”

Ryan slowly raised his hand. 

* * *

  
  


Needless to say, they failed miserably, spectacularly and to the point that some half crazed british writer at the BBC would make money off of publishing in a comedy skit.

He really hoped it wasn’t whoever had ended up writing that one earth tv show _Curse of the Fatal Death_ because whilst it had been funny back in the nineteen nineties, the jokes about gender hadn’t aged well. 

The Master rubs his fingers over his temples as the quacking reaches another level of volume in the console room, he debated seeing if the TARDIS would be kind to him and let him find a room filled with something that would utterly repel the ducks that were currently milling about the Doctor. 

Actual ducks, she’d adopted actual _ducks._ Ryan had helped him earlier, but hadn’t managed to get anywhere and judging from the way he was now cuddling one of the ducks, he had not only turned to the dark side but also wouldn’t be joining the Master for a good roast later.

The ‘Fam’ were dead to the Master… Again, this time it was permanent, he just wasn’t killing them because the Doctor would cry for a hundred years and he’d have to sit there through it all, waiting for her to stop and realise that the humans were inconsequential in their lifetimes, especially in hers and they could go off and do other, more interesting things. 

If he killed the ducks on the other hand, the Doctor would still get over it, fairly quickly too given that she wasn’t as attached to them as she was to the human pets yet. 

Though, in all honesty… It couldn’t get worse… Could it?

* * *

  
  


It got worse in the form of a loud honk on that following Tuesday morning and the Master was immediately reminded that he _hated_ Tuesdays. 

Thousands of years ago it had been because they were always surprised with the stupidest of quizzes on Tuesdays at the academy, the subject had always been on something that the teachers had assumed none of them read up on. 

(Ushas, Magnus, Mortimus and himself almost always had, the others tended to wing it.)

“KOSCHEI!!” The Doctor yelled and unbidden he found himself running towards wherever she was on the TARDIS, hearing the laughter echoing out, then the Master found himself staring on as the Doctor cuddled… 

..A Goose. 

She was giggling, the Doctor was… _Giggling,_ whilst the goose continuously pecked at her face in what looked like mock kisses, making honking sounds as it did so, “Koschei that tickles-”

“Did you…” He began, watching her coo at the… _Thing_ in her arms, “Did you name a goose after me?” 

The Doctor looked up at him, smiling widely, “No, it just fit him, funny little bird you are right, Kosch?” She ruffled the brown feathers on the Goose’s neck up, her gaze returning to it “Came right up to me and followed me all the way back to the TARDIS, more members of the fam.” 

She pulled the goose- _Koschei_ in further and cuddled him some more, “....So, you have a small flock of ducks and a goose now?”

“Yep! Isn’t he pretty?” She looked back at him, just for a moment before her attention was drawn in by more small pecks across her cheeks and her laughter echoed out, “Speaking of- I’d better go introduce them properly!” 

The Master watched as she sprang up from the floor, goose in her arms and he stepped to the side as she walked through the doors, _Koschei_ in hand. 

_Koschei_ seemed to look at him with a smug expression and he wasn’t imagining it.

Nor was he jealous of a damn _goose._

* * *

  
  


Koschei the Goose, seemed to haunt him all day and night, every day and night in fact, for the goose never left the Doctor’s side. 

In the daytime, he would watch as the goose cuddled into the Doctor’s legs when she was at the console, standing there proudly like he could do no wrong towards her… Like he was her most trusted confidant. 

The nights tended to be worse, he joined the Doctor to sleep sometimes, mostly because she asked now and again, but also because when she did go to sleep she wouldn’t let him leave her alone either. 

Now, Koschei kicked him out, or sat on his face or honked into his ear until the Master up and left in frustration of not being able to get a single _wink_ of sleep. 

But now, it was getting worse. 

“What is that goose wearring?” A purple suit, tailored perfectly to the Goose’s proportions, it was basically a replica of one of his own, sans the trousers and shoes. 

Yaz doesn’t blink an eye at him, just sighing as she ruffles the feathers on the duck who has become her twin in all but hair and skin colour, “Don’t ask me, I’m pretty sure she just does what she wants now,” In a little leather jacket and printed t-shirt. 

“The Doctor does just do what she wants to.” The Master states to her, still staring at the goose walking around in his clothes, “That still doesn’t explain why that goose is wearing a suit.” 

Koschei the goose struted in front of the Doctor, as she took pictures of him, “I think the Doc made it.” Graham muttered next to him, holding two ducks in his arms, one in a military coat and the other in a claret and sky blue scarf, “She decided it would be worth it to dress them all up, said that they might get ‘Cold’ if there were just naked all the time.” 

The Master wondered if the TARDIS had any books on cooking goose, then he wondered if the TARDIS would actually give them to him. 

“Doctor? Where are we going next?” Ryan asked from where he stood with a duck zipped up in his jacket, now proudly standing on the ‘Duck’ side of things and the Master glares pointedly at him to which he only receives a bare acknowledgement back, “Are there any new alien worlds you want to show us? Period in time perhaps?”

She snapped one last photo before turning her gaze to him, “I was thinking we could swing by London in 2055, there’s this lovely couple that owns the best music shop of all time.” Her left hand starts pressing buttons whilst her right puts her phone in her pocket, “I think they even have some of my old stuff.” 

“You have music out? Of you doing stuff?” Ryan sounded a little disbelieving, “When have you ever played an instrument?”

Looking a little offended, the Doctor snapped her gaze up to them all again, “I can play many instruments thank you very much, I have about twenty guitars in the TARDIS somewhere, no idea where though because someone kept hiding them- Including the one that shoots fire!”

Her gaze cut towards him for the smallest of seconds, suspicion shining in them, “Yes, it’s such a tragedy that one went missing.” He whistled, moving towards the console ready to kick the goose who was waddling up towards the Doctor out of the way, “Last I recall the thing you’ve got recorded was you on a triangle on some piece of classical music somewhere, quite famous if I can recall correctly.” 

The Doctor reached down and picked up Koschei the goose whilst he was talking, holding him against her side as she pressed another few buttons, “Ready fam? Hold onto something-” And she pulled the lever down. 

Everything rocks and the Master finds himself placing a hand on Graham’s shoulder to keep him in place, as the ducks all quack loudly and Koschei the goose honks. 

Honks. In the Doctor’s arms. 

He was not jealous of a fucking _bird._

* * *

  
  


Predictably, it got worse. 

“I didn’t even think the TARDIS had rooms this tight-”   
  
“It’s a broom cupboard Doctor.” 

“Oh… Why are we in a broom cupboard?”

He clicked the light on above them, “I wanted to see you without the damn bird.” 

“Koschei’s a goose, Master.” She frowned at him, then shook her head, “He’s probably wondering where I am you know? You didn’t have to pull me in here, you know how I feel about being pulled anywhere.” 

The Master knew, that was why he hadn’t put his hands where he’d wanted to yet, “I know, you could have broken out of my grip you know, didn’t have to come in here with me if you didn’t want to-” 

A loud honk sounded on the other side of the door. 

“-Drat, he’s found us.” 

The Doctor moved to open the door and he caught her wrist, “He’ll get lonely if we leave him out there!” She shook free of his grip, but crossed her arms to raise her eyebrows at him, “What couldn’t you say or do in front of him? Let me let him in-”   
  
“Or…” He licked his lips, letting his hand hover by her waist, not touching yet, “We could make out?”

Her lips opened slightly, eyes widening and her tongue popped out to lick, though she didn’t answer him long enough for his own mind to connect the dots.

“Are you actually debating this?”

The Doctor opened the door, he gaped at her, “Sorry, Koschei needs company and so do I-” 

“I could be that company?”  
  
“-you aren’t cute enough.”   
  
She slowly shut the door in his face, as he stared at her with his mouth wide open, he was sure it was painted with offence and he could have sworn she was smiling at the last crack in the door. 

It took five minutes for him to finally close his mouth. 

Right. That was it. 

Two could play at this game. 

* * *

  
  


It was nice, the TARDIS being this quiet, it hadn’t been in a long time.

Well, she said _nice_ with a bit of a bored expression to herself, her and quiet never really mixed, quiet meant just the sound of her own mind, just her own thoughts. 

She turned the page of the mystery novel, Agatha Christe, good old Agatha, even after reading the same book hundreds of times before, she still didn’t see some of the plot twists coming- Who had done it, even though she already knew, the misdirections but the same clues at the good times. 

The story’s climatic reveal of the killer was coming up when she heard it, ruffling her fingers in a sleeping Koschei’s feathers on her lap. 

A peaceful call echoed out into the library, it made her look up towards one of the balconies and tilt her head at the Master as he walked by, hands cupped to his face as he spoke through them, "Theta?"

"Yes?" The Doctor called back up to him and his gaze slid down to her, lazy and slow... Unlike him in general, "What is it?" 

The Master shook his head, as a weight seemed to appear on her own, "Not you- Ah! There you are!" She blinked, looking up with just her eyes to see a fuzzy paw hanging in the middle of her forehead. "There you are Theta, I've been looking everywhere for you-"

Warm hands plucked the creature off of her head, making it clear to her that the creature was in fact, a blonde ferret with random dark patches of fur.

“Doctor, meet Theta, my new pet.” 

His new… “Did you name a ferret after me?”  
  
“No, where did you get that idea- Oh well, I suppose you and ferrets have a lot in common.” He stroked _Theta’s_ fur, the tiny mammal leaned into his finger with their eyes closed and she watched it look suddenly all content, “Hyperactive, bouncy… Sometimes too quick and sometimes a thief.” 

Indignation sparked in her gut, “Thief? Name one thing I’ve stolen.”  
  
“We’re standing in it.” He spoke blatantly and lifted _Theta_ up to his shoulder and the Doctor watched as the ferret contentedly curled themself around the Master’s neck, “Besides, you get to adopt different pets, thought it might be time to get my own.” 

The Doctor watched his stroke _Theta’s_ nose, “I didn’t steal the TARDIS, she stole me-” The aforementioned made a noise that echoed out confirming this, “-and I don’t _adopt_ pets, they simply tag along.” 

Koschei woke up in her lap, ruffling about into a standing position, he hissed at the Master, then hissed at _Theta._

Who hissed straight back. 

She narrowed her eyes at the Master, “You didn’t adopt the ferret because you were jealous did you?”  
  
“What would I have to be jealous of?” He blinked at her, enough that for a moment the Doctor considered the possibility that he was actually _befuddled_ at the notion, “I saw Theta at the animal rescue and did what any good citizen of the universe would do and took them home with me.”

She put her book to one side, forgetting her page number already and pulled Koschei into a proper cuddle, he didn’t seem to mind, “Then I congratulate you on doing something good.” 

“Thank you, I’m glad you approve of my selfless action.”   
  
“I’m glad you did it, I welcome _Theta_ to the family.”   
  
“Good, I’m sure they appreciate it, right Theta?” He spoke directly to the ferret, who’s gaze landed on the Doctor and _Theta_ hissed at her, full bodied, the Master seemed delighted at the entire interaction, “Aren’t they fantastic Doctor? I’m quite in love with them.” 

The Doctor could have sworn the ferret looked _smug,_ “That’s good, do you some good to experience some love.” Her tone was as even as she could keep it whilst glaring at a ferret, not that she was glaring, why would she glare when she had Koschei to cuddle with? “Not that you’ll have what I and Koschei do, we just get each other, you know?”

  
“I know, Theta and I are quite the same, they understand me perfectly.” He smiled down at the ferret with brightness, eyes shining with pride and the Doctor felt the knot in her gut appear, she was not glaring at a ferret of all things, “I was thinking about taking them out later, thought we’d explore Sheffield together, since I haven’t seen much of it you know?”

The Master turned his gaze towards her again and the smile dimmed, her heart didn’t sink at the fact that it did, absolutely not.

“I’m sure you’ll enjoy that, you could ask one of the others to give you a proper tour-”  
  
“Actually I was thinking we’d wing it you know? Possibly get lost, make an adventure out of it.” She pressed her lips together and forced a smile to her lips, he knew she loved getting lost and having an adventure because of it… 

_Theta_ yipped at him, seemingly positively excited at the notion of an adventure and the Doctor felt herself sink- Not that she was sad or anything -as the Master turned that bright eyed smile onto the ferret again. 

“That sounds great.” She ground out the farthest thing from jealousy one could get, she beamed at him, “Maybe Koschei and I will do the same thing at a later date, we were reading, he likes it when I read to him.” 

The Doctor and the Master met each others eyes for a long moment, before he nodded once, “I see, I’m glad you two have an activity you can do together- Shall we go Theta? I was thinking about making you a little bowtie.” 

_Theta_ made another noise that sounded overly happy about it all and the Doctor pulled Koschei into a tighter hug, “Then I guess we’ll see you later?”   
  
“Probably, we have quite a bit of exploring to do.” 

The Master left. 

The Doctor did not stare longingly after him, absolutely not thinking about how a damn _ferret_ was doing the thing she’d always wanted to do with him. 

* * *

  
  


Her sonic was gone. 

She’d checked every single one of her pockets three hundred times over but it was nowhere to be found, which was insane because yes, her pockets did have dimensionally transcending dimensions, however she could _always_ find her sonic. 

Where could she have left it? The console room? The library? Her scarcely used bedroom was out as she hadn’t been in there in days, there was no need for her to go really, she hadn’t needed to sleep. 

“Have any of you seen my sonic?” She asked the Fam as she passed them in the kitchen, her coat slung over one of her arms and they all looked at her holding their ducks, “I could have sworn I had it earlier.” 

Yaz looked up from where she sat next to the duck that sported a little leather jacket, “When did you last have it?”

“Definitely had it when we got back from water zorbing with the Zygons.” Ryan’s gaze snapped up to her and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “Ah right, sorry, the people we met were zygons… Did I forget to mention that?” 

Graham gaped at her, “Yes, yes you did… What even is a Zygon??”  
  
“Shapeshifting race, actually kind of nice when you get to know them, some of my good friends are Zygons you know.” She hummed, hand coming to stroke the head of the duck in the little west ham scarf, “Though they did invade earth for a time, managed to work out a treaty… Oh and the Osgoods are still around, I should pay them a visit at some point, haven’t seen them for _ages.”_

The Fam looked at her, she wondered if she looked like she was mad again. 

“What was I looking for- Right, sonic, I need to find my sonic.” She turned and left the kitchen again, leaving the humans gaping at her from behind. 

Maybe she’d left it with the Master? No, she wouldn’t have done that and whilst she was on the subject where on _Earth_ was Koschei?

“Theta?!” There was his voice, had he lost that bloody ferret again? She picked up her pace and turned the corner, almost hitting him full force, “The other-”  
  
“-Theta, I know, have you seen Koschei?” She asked, rolling her eyes, “Also have you seen my sonic?”

The Master frowned at her, “I haven’t seen that ridiculous bird no, nor your sonic, have you seen Theta?”

“The ferret? No.” She frowned straight back at him, crossing her arms with her coat now hanging over them both, “Really, you should keep a better eye on them.” 

He glares pointedly, “And you should stop that bird from kicking me out of my bed at three am, some of us do like to sleep.” 

“Koschei kicks you out of bed?”  
  
“Yes, where have you been for the last few weeks- Anyway, I need to find Theta, good luck with your sonic and your stupid bird.” She bristled a bit at him calling Koschei stupid, before he brushed past her and continued on down the hallway. 

Stupid _Master_ more like, how dare he call her goose ‘Stupid’, when his ferret was infinitely more so- How dare he. 

Where was her sonic? And where the _fuck_ was her goose. 

* * *

  
  


She finds _Theta_ first. 

The small ferret is wrapped in a rainbow scarf that trails along the floor behind them as they run past her in the hallway, closely followed by a honking mass of flapping wings and purple suit.

Koschei stops when he sees her, ignoring the smaller Theta in favour of approaching her and letting himself be picked up, he hisses at the ferret on the floor, who hisses straight back before rushing off again, a sock in their mouth.

“Have you been chasing them all morning?” Koschei nuzzles into her hold, settling himself down, “You must be tired… Have you seen my sonic?”

He comes alive, wings flapping out of her grip and landing on the floor, rushing off in the opposite direction and she follows him down the hallway, right past where she’d bumped into the Master, into the console room and then out again before arriving at the library. 

The Doctor follows the weaving Goose through the bookshelves, until she sees the sock that Theta had been carrying and she stops at this bookshelf, bending down to look at it, then she sees a chain from a necklace she last saw in her wardrobe.

Her goose honks once, defiantly and excitedly flaps his wings, she pats him on the head and reaches forwards towards the chain and sock, tugging on it lightly before a whole pile of things falls out onto the floor. 

One item lands a little heavier than the others and she picks up her sonic from the pile of what she can only assume are stolen goods.

Koschei honks as Theta appears on top of the bookshelf, hissing at the Doctor and she gets it. 

  
Oh. 

Oh, this meant _war._


End file.
